


Insecure

by scarletmanuka



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Insecurities, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Not Underage, Peter is in college, Starker Secret Santa 2019, Worries about infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: For Starker Secret Santa 2019 for Starkerotic based on the prompt:Peter is going away for MIT. Tony is... he wants peter to enjoy college life, but he and Peter are still very new and, as much as his ego hates to acknowledge it, he's insecure; Peter will be meeting more and more people and Tony is happy for him to make friends, he is - but... Harley Keener becomes a regular mention in their nightly phone calls, and Tony can't help but to worry. (no infidelity, just insecurities.)
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 173





	Insecure

Tony stood in the doorway to Peter’s small bedroom in Queens and watched as his young lover tried to cram another tin of the horrible dry cookies that May had made him into his suitcase. Peter wasn’t packing a lot of unnecessary items since MIT was only a couple of hours away after all, but even so, he’d taken a few things of comfort. May had baked for days, and Peter had watched on in dawning horror as she had packed up tin after tin of her goodies. As terrible a cook as May was, Tony had no doubts that Peter would eat every last cookie and brownie, simply because he missed his aunt. He wasn’t so sure about the hoodie of his that he spotted before the suitcase lid had been closed - he’d like to think that Peter would wear it at every opportunity, possibly not wash it for as long as he could to keep the faint scent of Tony’s cologne for as long as possible, but maybe Peter wouldn’t miss Tony as much as he would miss Peter.

It was odd to think that Tony was the more insecure one in this relationship but he was fairly certain that that was the way the cookie crumbled.

They’d not been together long, only the few months since Peter had graduated from high school. They’d had a glorious summer together and Peter had proved that he wasn’t as shy in the bedroom as he was in everyday life. Tony had had many fantasies about his protege, and most had revolved around taking Peter apart and piecing him back together again, using every trick that he knew to make Peter a squirming, mewling mess of post coital bliss, wowing his lover with his experience. To say that it hadn't _quite_ gone down that way was an understatement. Peter was confident, determined, and almost cocky in the bedroom, making demands and expecting Tony to carry them out. Of course, it wasn’t a hardship for Tony, but it had had him on the backfoot the first time or two, and he’d even been a little shocked by Peter’s kinkiness. Both of them switched, neither preferring to only top or bottom and so they enjoyed taking it in turns, but when Peter had shot his load deep inside Tony only to drop down and then _suck_ it out of him, Tony started to realise that perhaps he was in over his head. Peter might look like an angel, but in the bedroom he was definitely an incubus. 

Peter was also insatiable, and Tony had been pushed to his limits. He wasn’t twenty anymore and he had difficulty getting it up more than once a day. He’d had to get creative to keep Peter satisfied, who if he got his way would ride Tony’s dick from sun up to sun down. Tony had absolutely no problem with sucking Peter to completion anytime his own cock didn't want to come to the party, but his knees were another matter entirely. After the first time or two, he began to subtly lead Peter to the couch, or to the bed, or (when pressed) at least the very plush rug in the living room. Luckily, the few times that Tony simply didn't have the energy and just wanted to lay there with Peter in his arms and hold him, Peter hadn’t seemed to mind. He knew it was a blow to his ‘playboy’ persona but luckily they’d kept their relationship out of the public eye so at least the tabloids wouldn't have a field day if they found out that he couldn’t keep up with his young lover.

His young, insatiable, sex craved lover who would be heading off to a campus full of other young, insatiable, sex craved youths…

Tony tried really, _really_ hard not to think along those lines but Peter had made it clear that he liked sex, he liked a _lot_ of sex, and suddenly Tony wasn’t going to be around to give it to him. Their relationship was still new, so new in fact that they hadn't exactly had any talks about being exclusive or anything. To Tony it was a given - the days of his aversion to commitment were far behind him, but Peter had never really specified what they were to him. Yes, he’d had a crush on Tony for years, and he'd jumped at the chance to have more with him, but as Tony had come to discover, he really didn't know Peter as well as he thought he had. Peter hadn't been a blushing virgin when they’d gotten together, wasn’t naive and innocent. Given how confident he was in the bedroom, knowing exactly what he liked and not being shy about getting it, Tony really didn't want to think about how many people Peter had been with in the past to gain that experience. He didn't judge Peter for having numerous sexual partners (he’d be a hypocrite if he did after all) but he did _worry_ that Peter viewed their relationship slightly differently to how Tony saw it. If he wasn't emotionally constipated, he’d talk to Peter before he left but it was too late for that now. The suitcase was zipped, Peter was looking around the room, scanning for anything he’d left behind, and there was a knock at the front door that indicated that Happy was ready to drive Peter over to campus.

“This is it then,” Tony said, somewhat redundantly.

Peter nodded and then crossed the room, hugging Tony close. “I miss you already,” he said, then tilted his head, demanding a kiss.

Tony brushed their lips together, feeling a little better about Peter’s declaration. “I’ll call every night,” he promised, “and visit as often as I can.”

Peter smiled but they both knew that the visits wouldn’t be as regular as they wished. Having Tony Stark turn up in the dorms would be a surefire way to expose their relationship to the world and Peter didn’t need to spend his first year at MIT fighting off the paparazzi. “I’ll visit too,” he promised and this was more realistic. Besides coming back to see May, Peter also had his Spider-Man responsibilities to uphold. They’d announced that Spidey was now an official Avenger and would be away on missions for them to explain away his absence from Queens, but Peter still wanted to patrol when he could. 

“Peter, it’s time to go,” May called from the living room where she was chatting to Happy.

“I’m coming!” he called back, but then turned back to Tony and kissed him one last time. The kiss was deep and filthy, with a lot of tongue and teeth, and it left Tony panting for more. Peter grinned at him as they broke apart, his eyes darting down knowingly to the tent in Tony’s pants. “Just to remind you what you’ll be missing,” he said with a wink, and then turned, grabbed his suitcase and headed out of his bedroom.

Tony trailed behind slowly, watched as Peter said his goodbyes to May and offered a halfhearted wave as Peter and Happy left. By unspoken agreement, neither he nor May went down to the street to watch solemnly as the car drove off - they didn’t have much but they wanted to retain the small shred of dignity that remained.

Several minutes went by as they both just stared at the closed door, feeling empty and lost. Finally May turned to Tony and sad, “I need a drink. You want one?”

He glanced at the clock on the wall which hadn't even hit 10am as yet. Shrugging, he said, “Sure, it’s five o’clock somewhere,” and then they proceeded to drink two bottles of wine before lunch.

oOoOo

“Are you all settled in?” Tony asked, drinking in the sight of Peter’s face on the screen.

 _“Yeah, didn't take me long to unpack. I headed to the info fair they had and checked out some of the robotics groups but they’re leagues behind what I’ve been working on with you.”_ Peter pouted and Tony wished he could kiss it off his lips.

“Maybe you should join one anyway? You might teach them something.”

Peter shrugged. _“I guess. I’m just wary of getting involved in anything that I can’t commit to if I’m spending every free weekend and holiday back in New York.”_

Tony’s heart skipped a beat at that, suddenly overwhelmed with happiness that Peter was looking forward to being home so much. He knew he was pathetic but since no one else had access to his inner thoughts, no one else had to know. “Your first lecture is tomorrow, yeah?” It was a moot question as Peter had had his schedule for two weeks now and Tony had memorised it.

 _“Yep, then a lab after that. I’m looking forward to it.”_ Behind Peter the door opened and Tony just caught sight of a tousled head of dirty blonde curls before Peter cut the video feed on their call. _“Sorry,”_ he whispered, _“my roommate is back.”_

“That’s okay,” Tony assured him, wishing that they didn't have to hide but not ever wanting to put Peter in the spotlight before he was ready. “You get along okay?”

Peter made a small sound that was the vocal equivalent of a shrug. _“I guess.Too soon to really tell.”_

Knowing that it was hard to talk with someone in the room, Tony decided to wrap the call up. “Okay, baby, I’ll let you get back to it. Have fun tomorrow.”

_“I will. Talk tomorrow?”_

It warmed him that Peter seemed just as eager to keep in touch. “You bet. I’ve got a few meetings during the day but you can text whenever you want and I’ll phone you when I’m home.”

_“Can’t wait. Bye then.”_

He fought the urge to sign off with an _I love you_ , knowing it was too soon, even if that’s how he felt. “Bye, Pete,” he said softly instead. The call disconnected and Tony felt bereft. He went into the bedroom, flopped onto the bed and pulled the pillow that still smelled like Peter close to his face, hugging it tightly. 

It was a poor substitute but he eventually fell asleep with the pillow hugged to his chest.

oOoOo

Tony soon learned that the roommate was called Harley Keener. He was doing Mechanical Engineering and had one class that overlapped with Peter’s Chemical Engineering course. He was three months older than Peter, had a younger sister, and his dad had skipped out on the family, leaving his mom to raise them alone. During one phone call Tony had overheard Harley speak as he entered the room and he’d heard a southern twang, with Peter telling him later that he was from Tennessee. 

At first Harley was only ever really mentioned when their calls were cut short by him returning early to the dorm. Tony had his schedule memorised like he did Peter’s and knew that Mondays from two till four and Thursdays from three thirty till five were the best times to catch Peter alone. They’d taken to having hurried phone sex on these days, propping their phones in front of them as they watched the other jerk off, the need to reach out and touch Peter through the screen almost overwhelming Tony. 

The third weekend, Peter came home and between meals with May, patrolling the neighbourhood, and long, frantic sessions in the bedroom, Peter hardly mentioned his roommate. The next time he came back, two weeks later, he briefly mentioned that Harley had gotten a Lego Starship Enterprise and after a lengthy debate over which was better - Star Trek or Star Wars, he grudgingly allowed Peter to help him build it. Tony was happy that Peter had made a friend, since he’d been gutted when he’d watched as Ned and MJ had left for different universities across the country. As he knew intimately, phone calls and texts were a hollow way of staying in touch and he knew that Peter missed his friends. Tony got F.R.I.D.A.Y. to run a background check on the Keener kid and when it came back clear, Tony was able to relax a little and be happy that Peter had someone in his day to day life to talk to.

That happiness faded a little as time went on as Peter began to talk more and more about Harley and what they’d gotten up to. When three phone calls had gone by and all Peter had said was _“Harley this”_ and _“Harley that”,_ Tony began to get worried. It was clear that Peter had really connected with this kid, which was great on one hand, but on the other, it simply highlighted everything that Tony wasn’t.

Peter was young and enthusiastic and energetic, and Harley seemed to always be with him as they studied in the library, or checked out a frat party, or spent an hour at 3am in the middle of the week, hyped up on caffeine and energy drinks, seeing if it was possible to swing the swing in the playground around the frame 360 degrees. 

Tony was old and sarcastic and could spend a whole week in his lab without coming up for air. Sure, he was Iron Man and he was fit for his age, but there was always going to be ‘for his age’ tacked onto descriptions like that. He still had all of his hair but it was definitely turning more silver now and he found that seeing anyone with a head full of sandy curls triggered a bout of anxiety that made him gasp for breath and have to sit down. 

It was five months in that Tony began to have actual suspicions and not just insecure worries. By now, Peter had a routine. Every second weekend (the one that lined up with May’s weekend off work) he would come home, arriving in the evening on Friday and not heading back until late Sunday night. He, Tony, and May would have dinner on Friday night, then Peter would come back to the Tower with Tony and they would spend every minute together, meeting again with May for brunch on Sunday. It was even common to see Iron Man patrolling with Spider-Man, so intent was Tony on not missing out on spending any time with his lover. Peter never seemed to mind - in fact, the times that he and Tony swung/flew through the buildings of Queens always seemed to energise him and on more than one occasion he’d not even waited until they were home, just pushed Tony into some out of the way place on a rooftop or in a dark alley before dropping to his knees. 

Tony cherished their weekends together and so it was like a slap in the face when he got a call on Friday afternoon from Peter, telling him that he wasn’t coming back this weekend.

_“I’ve got a big project to work on for my Differential Equations course - we’ve had to partner up for it and it’s worth thirty percent of my grade so I don’t want to phone it in.”_

Tony knew that that was the class that Peter shared with Harley and with a sinking feeling he asked, “So, who did you partner with?”

 _“Harley, of course,”_ Peter answered, his tone indicating that Tony was daft for even asking, like there was no possible alternative. _“He’s heading off to visit his family next weekend so we need to get a start on it now.”_

“Right, well, of course, your studies come first.”

_“Thanks, Tony, I knew you’d understand. Enjoy your weekend.”_

If it had just been that, then maybe Tony would have been able to brush it off. He’d not really expected Peter to come visit the following weekend since May had her shift at the hospital but he was guttered when he called Peter like usual on the Friday night to find that Peter wasn’t in his dorm - instead he was in some tiny town in bum-fuck nowhere Tennessee, visiting Harley’s family with his friend.

 _“I’m sure I mentioned I was heading down here this weekend,”_ Peter said when Tony asked why he was there. _“Harley’s mom has been wanting to meet me for ages and the last time she came up to campus I was with you. They’re all so nice, they’ve made me feel very welcome.”_

“Well, that’s good. I hope you have a nice time.”

 _“Oh, I’m sure I will.”_ Peter paused and listened to someone hollering in the background. Tony’s eye twitched as he recognised Harley’s voice. Peter’s voice became muffled as he covered his phone with his hand but Tony still heard him say, _“No, it’s nothing important, I’m just finishing up, then I’ll be there.”_ Then he came back to Tony. _“I have to go, dinner’s ready.”_

They hadn't even been talking for two minutes, but apparently he was ‘nothing important’. “Oh, okay. I guess I’ll speak to you tomorrow then.”

_“About that, I think we’re going camping and reception here is a bit shitty so I don’t know if the call will come through. Try though, but if not, I’ll talk to you when I’m back at school.”_

Tony did try to call the following day but didn't get through. He tried again on Sunday and it simply rang out. He began to come up with all sorts of theories as to what was keeping Peter so busy that he wasn’t answering. By Monday he knew that Peter would be back at MIT but by then he was too busy feeling sorry for himself and couldn't be bothered making the call. He holed up in his lab but couldn’t stop himself from checking the time every ten minutes. 2pm, their regular call time came and went, but Peter didn't call. It was rare that he called - it was generally Tony who called him to keep Peter’s phone bill down, but in the past if Tony had been ten minutes late to call because he was stuck in a meeting, Peter would ring. 

Half past two came and went and soon so did 3pm. By now Tony had given up on Peter calling, and he hid his phone on the other side of the lab so he wouldn't give in and call Peter. He knew that he was being childish and stubborn but he _needed_ proof that Peter still cared about him, that it wasn’t always Tony making the effort. He was first and foremost a scientist and theories required evidence to prove them. His main theory, that Harley had become something more to Peter, that he was sleeping with him, would be hard to prove without Peter admitting it, but Tony figured that it wouldn’t hurt to begin distancing himself before their relationship officially ended. He wasn’t one to fling accusations and have dramatic confrontations - those hurt too much - so he’d begin to withdraw, put some space between Peter and his shattering heart so when Peter finally broke up with him, he might not be entirely broken. 

By the time the sun had gone down and Tony still hadn't heard from Peter, not even a text message, he hit the bar in the penthouse. F.R.I.D.A.Y confirmed that Peter was on campus, that he’d been spotted on several CCTV cameras heading to and from class which laid to rest the small possibility that he’d been injured somehow and was in hospital. His conscience was clear to get completely and utterly plastered and he drank most of a bottle of whiskey before he passed out on the sofa in the living room.

He was woken early the following morning by his phone beeping and he peeled open a crusted eyelid to peer at the screen. It was a text from Peter.

_I fell asleep yesterday afternoon, sorry :( Talk tonight?_

Tony wanted to ignore it, but his stubbornness was weakened in his hungover state and he replied back with a simple, _Okay._

Classes didn't finish until late on Tuesdays so Tony waited until 6pm to phone Peter. He was breathless when he answered, but sounded enthusiastic enough. _“Hey, Tony! Sorry, I had to speak to my lecturer after class and had to run to get back in time for your call.”_

Tony didn’t point out that a cell phone could be answered anywhere or that Peter rarely got breathless from running, his Spider DNA leaving him in peak physical condition. He also tried hard not to listen for any noises in the background, unsure if he could handle the sounds of Harley in the room. “That’s okay. How was class?”

_“Same old same old, really. There’s not much to tell you, except that I miss you.”_

“Figured you’d be too busy to miss me,” Tony said, and couldn't quite keep the bitterness from his voice. 

_“Tony, of_ **_course_ ** _I miss you,”_ Peter exclaimed. _“I’m sorry we didn't get to talk over the weekend, but that’s just made me miss you even more.”_

He sighed and tried to stop from making a complete fool of himself. “I miss you too, baby.”

_“I can’t wait for this weekend when I get to see you. Got, I want you so bad.”_

He was weak but couldn’t help but ask, “Really?”

_“You have no idea how much, Tony. I’m going to climb you like a tree the second I see you.”_

He was reassured by this up until he phoned on Wednesday and a voice that he’d only ever heard in the background answered the phone. _“Peter’s House of Pleasure, if it fits, he sits.”_

Tony froze. “Excuse me?” he choked out when his voice finally worked again.

In the background, Tony heard Peter whining and there was the sound of a struggle. Harley laughed and asked, _“So, who is this? Peter has you down as Iron Man so you’re obviously a fan of Tony Stark. Is this the Ned I’ve heard so much about?”_

“Ned is listed in Peter’s phone as Chewie,” Tony almost snapped. 

He distantly heard Peter say, _“For fuck’s sake, Harls, give me my damn phone!”_

_“Nah, not yet, I wanna know who it is.”_

_“If you don’t give it back right this instant I’m changing you in my contacts from Kirk to John Archer.”_

_“You wouldn’t dare!”_ Harley sounded shocked.

_“Watch me,” Peter threatened._

_“Eh, you gotta get your phone back first.”_ Harley teased, and Tony heard more struggling, and some giggles. _“I gotta figure out why you’ve named this guy Iron Man, I’m on a mission.”_

Tony had had enough. “Because I _am_ Iron Man,” he snapped and then turned on the front facing camera. A moment later the camera on Peter’s phone flickered to life as well and Tony was assaulted with the view of Harley sprawled out on Peter’s bed, Peter’s arms wrapped around him as he tried to grapple the phone back from him. Harley’s mouth dropped open in shock as he saw Tony on the other side. _“Holy fucking shit, you’re Tony Stark!”_

Tony smirked at him cruelly, hoping to overwhelm the twerp with his fame. “The one and only. Now, if you would kindly give Peter back his phone, we were discussing our plans for the weekend.”

The phone was shoved back to Peter who pulled away from Harley and gazed at Tony through the screen, cheeks bright pink and hair tousled. _“Hey, Tony, sorry ‘bout that.”_

_“You call him Tony?” Harley squawked in the background._

Peter’s eyes darkened. _“Would you just fuck off, Harley and let me take this damn call?”_

Behind Peter, Tony saw Harley stand and head for the door, waving over his shoulder. _“Yeah, whatever.”_

“Trouble in paradise?” Tony asked mildly, not wanting to give away how much it had hurt to see the two teens entangled on Peter’s bed, even if there was a remote possibility that it had just been innocent friendly wrestling.

Peter rolled his eyes. _“He’ll just be shitty that he didn’t know that we knew each other. He likes to think that he knows everything about me but really, he hardly knows me at all.”_

Carefully, Tony asked, “Do you _want_ him to know you better?”

Now, Peter’s eyes narrowed. _“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”_

Tony shrugged, going for nonchalant but knowing he missed it by a mile, all of his insecurities showing on his face. “You two seem pretty close is all. You have a lot in common, and seem compatible, he’s your age after all…”

 _“I can’t believe...you actually...fuck, Tony…”_ Peter shook his head. _“No, you know what? I refuse to have this conversation with you over the phone.”_ And he disconnected the call.

Tony spent a long time just staring at the blank screen, feeling sick to his stomach. This was it, he just knew it. The next time he saw Peter it would be so he could be told face to face that they were over. The best thing he had ever had in his life and it was slipping through his fingers. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or throw up so he settled instead for drinking heavily since that way he’d probably end up doing both.

He was on his third glass of scotch when he heard the familiar sound of repulsors and then a large clunk. Curious, he staggered to his feet and looked outside to the large landing pad and saw Rhodey crouched down in his landing pose. He straightened and then Tony saw Spider-Man clinging to his back. He’d climbed down by the time Tony made it to the door and he was in time to hear Peter say, “Thanks for the lift.”

“Anytime, kid,” Rhodey replied. “Talk some sense into him, yeah?”

Peter was looking directly at Tony when he responded. “I’ll try but I think he’s being stubborn.”

Rhodey snorted. “Yeah, he gets like that.” Then with a burst of his lower repulsors, he was taking off into the night, leaving the two of them alone.

“What are you doing here?” Tony blurted, unable to stand the assessing look that Peter was giving him.

Peter stared at him a little longer and then shook his head. “You are such a fucking idiot,” he said and then closed the distance between them and pulled Tony into an embrace.

“What does this mean?” Tony whispered when he finally forced himself to pull back so that he wouldn’t have time to get used to Peter’s warmth before he lost it entirely.

“It means,” Peter said slowly, “that for all your genius, you have no fucking clue.”

“Yeah, still not really making sense,” he admitted.

Peter sighed. “Let me spell it out for you then. I love you, Tony, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I am not sleeping with Harley, or anyone else for that matter. I want _you_ and only you. Making sense now?”

“But, last weekend, and today, on the bed…”

“For the love of all that is holy,” Peter muttered, his words almost inaudible over the sound of the wind on the landing. “Look, let’s go inside so we can talk, okay? You probably need some water too, since you’ll have a horrible hangover in the morning if you don’t.”

“I was kind of drinking my sorrows away,” Tony admitted in a small voice as he followed Peter inside.

Heading straight for the bar to fill a glass with water from the pitcher there, Peter glared at him. “I would like to point out that these are _imaginary_ sorrows.”

“It didn't feel like it to me.” Tony’s voice cracked a little bit and Peter’s expression softened.

“Here, drink this and then come sit down.”

Doing as he was told, Tony drained the glass and then joined Peter on the sofa. 

“Tony, last weekend I went camping with Harley’s family. I spent most of the weekend giving his little sister piggybacks through the woods and helping his mother cook. He’s my _friend_ and I like spending time with him, but that’s all he is.”

“So you really don’t want him that way?”

“I’m not going to lie - I do find him attractive, but I find pretty much all of the Avengers hot as well but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. Harley knows that I’m seeing someone, but I haven’t told him who since we agreed to keep it quiet. I trust that he can keep a secret so if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll tell him that it’s you that I’m seeing. Hell, come up to campus and visit me and you can meet him! I’ll be happy for you to make a few possessive displays of affection if it’ll stop you worrying.”

Tony huffed out a laugh. “Does that include me pounding you into the mattress and then coming all over your ass as he walks in the door?”

Peter gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, that might be taking it a little too far.” His voice dropped lower and he leaned in to purr into Tony’s ear. “But there’s nothing to say that we can’t do that right now.” He nipped at Tony’s lobe. “Come on, Tony, want you so much, want you to mark me, claim me as yours. What do you say? You up for it?”

Tony wasn't one to turn down a challenge and it turned out that he was definitely up for it. Twice in fact.

  
  
  



End file.
